


it was tiring

by jjaero



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, Fluff, KageHina - Freeform, Like, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Sugawara Is An Actual Mom, Team Parents Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Unrequited Love, but that's like in 400 chapters later lmao, kags pls, kinda Cracky in the middle, painfully platonic, the rating goes up for the smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-16 02:54:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10562250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjaero/pseuds/jjaero
Summary: (CHANGED NAME: "UNREQUITED" TO "IT WAS TIRING")There's something terribly tragic about unrequited love. Some have even committed suicide over it. An "untried" love is virtual without limits precisely because, never really having begun, there's been no time for disillusionment to set in. The beloved-frequently distant, uninterested, unavailable, or unapproachable-can remain an object of indefinite idealization.Hinata was one of those people who suffered from unrequited love.Kageyama never really notices, and it's been 3 years. They're really close, best friends, but whenever Hinata asked about who he liked or loved, he would either ignore him, or say he wasn't interested in anybody.It was tiring.His love was unrequited, and it was tiring.or,the angstiest but the fluffiest kagehina fic abt unrequited love





	1. Introductions

**Author's Note:**

> So, like, this was a Wattpad story... then I decided to upload it here.

It was a cold, normal Sunday afternoon.

The skies were dull, but not gray. The clouds stood still, it seemed like, but they were moving. The slow, cold breeze blew away the petals that have fallen. Two chocolate, mud-like eyes were staring intensely outside the glass window.

Hinata Shouyou wasn't your average second-year high school student. He stood in 170 cm, even if he was in the second year of high school. He could jump really high and has ultimate skill in spiking and receiving. But he wasn't as good as the libero, of course. He was the Ace, following Asahi's footsteps.

Kageyama Tobio, on the other hand, was cooking for the two of them. The orange-haired boy was staying in his house so they could practice with ease, and they could meet up easily.

He wasn't your normal second year, as well. He had a talent for setting and serving, standing in third place as one of the best setters in the Prefecture.

"Kageyama, I'm going upstairs. Can you call me when the food's ready?" Hinata asked, not looking at the taller boy.

His eyes were still glued to the window, he loved how to petals fall.

Kageyama replied with a faint 'yes'. Hinata finally looked at the other way and stood up. He walked up the stairs and went inside the medium-sized room the Kageyama family let him stay in.

Hinata wasn't fond of sharing secrets. But there's one he never shared, but everybody knew. How? It was obvious, wasn't it?

Karasuno's Ace was madly and deeply in love with Kageyama Tobio.

It wasn't considered a secret at Karasuno and Nekoma. Everybody noticed, except for the man himself.

Why? It's so obvious!

After many months of thinking, he considered this as unrequited love.

It's no wonder that so many poets have written about unrequited love. For when their emotions have become so overwhelming, so agitating, anxiety-laden, or consuming, how could they not be driven to search for just the right words, images, and metaphors to express—or better, _release_ —such intense feelings? And, almost like a bloodletting, such a discharge is likely to offer them at least some immediate relief. So throughout history, writers have painstakingly sought to transform their raw, overpowering feelings into a language as poignant, as "touching" and "moving," as this excruciatingly frustrating experience must have been for them. And their deeply personal need to give voice to such anguish was probably as urgent as the anguish itself.

That's how Hinata felt, personally. His chest would ache whenever Kageyama was having a fun time with someone, and, or if Kageyama is showing _unfamiliar_ affection to someone. It made his head spin, his eyes shake, and his heart throb. His stomach drops every time.

Most people have been wondering where Hinata was. The crash site of unrequited love. You ask yourself, how did he get there? What was it about? Was it _his_ smile? Was it his strength? Was it his looks? What are these elusive and ephemeral things that ignite passion in the human heart? That's an age-old question, and nobody has answered it.

"Ask me why I keep on loving you when it's clear that you don't feel the same way for me. The problem is that as much as I can't force you to love me, I can't force myself to stop loving you." Hinata sadly stated to himself, the orange-haired boy broke into sobs.

He loved Kageyama a lot, and his heart ached when he doesn't see — hell, _feel_  — it. Hinata definitely has fallen for somebody. In love, yes. But, not like this?

What the hell was it, then?

It was a cold, normal Sunday afternoon.

The skies were dull, but not gray. The clouds stood still, it seemed like, but they were moving. The slow, cold breeze blew away the petals that have fallen. Two chocolate, mud-like eyes were blurred by tears, thinking about their owner's unrequited love.

* * *

 Hinata fluttered his eyes open, his tears had dried and they were rough and irritating. The Ace sat down straight and huffed. He slowly wiped away the dried up tears and proceeded to the bathroom. He turned on the lights and walked to the sink

He bent over the sink and turned on the faucet. The short boy started washing his face, after 10 seconds, he slowly bent his way up and turned off the faucet. He wiped his face with the towel provided by the bathroom and turned off the lights.

Hinata sighed, his eyes scanned the room. A volleyball was hanging from the ceiling, swinging left to right. Hinata always wondered what was behind the volleyball, but he never had the chance to ask.

He checked outside, the skies were dark and filled with shining stars. The clouds were barely visible, but they were, and they were a faint gray. He opened the window, and the wind blew. The orange-haired boy felt cold, but colorful wind, every blow messing up his hair. He didn't mind, the cool breeze made him feel at ease.

Hinata always thought of the Earth as a terrifying, yet beautiful place. The Earth was just a dead thing you could claim. What made it beautiful though, even if it _was_ dead, Hinata knew every rock, tree, and creature— has a life, has a spirit, has a name.

As he closed the glass window, he wiped off the drop of water from it. Why was there a drop of water? He had no idea.

Slowly, he traversed downstairs, only to find Kageyama eating. The taller boy waved at him, a signal that Kageyama wanted him to join. Hinata smiled warmly at the setter. The orange-haired boy walked to the dinner table, grabbed a chair, and sat down.

"You cooked all of this?" Katsudon and sushi.

"Yeah,"

"Nice,"

"Thank you, Hinata,"

They ate in peaceful silence. Kageyama didn't notice, but whenever he looked away, Hinata looked at him with love. The younger boy was fast with his eyes and reflexes, so it was easy to avoid eye contact when Kageyama would turn around again.

"I'm done, Kageyama," Hinata announced.

"I'll clean these up, don't worry. Do you want to watch a movie after this?"

"Thank you, and, sure. Romance-comedy would be a good one."

"No, there's this anime film called _Kimi No Nawa_ , I wanna watch it,"

"Whatever you say, Kags,"

Movie night sounded fun right now. Hinata needed constant affection, and movie nights meant cuddles and forehead kisses. Their relationship was _so_ platonic, it was insane. Kageyama was so oblivious to Hinata's feelings. Whenever the ravenette talked about a girl or a boy that he liked, Hinata would always grunt mentally, but also go serious-mode and ache in the inside. It hurt him a lot.

"One, two, three, three, two-"

"Hinata?"

"Huh? Nothing, I was reciting,"

"Oh, okay,"

Hinata decided to go outside. He found a volleyball and started throwing it lightly and catching it. Kageyama knew damn well if he did this, he was frustrated. He seemed to notice that, but he just gave the younger boy a knowing, concerned smile. Hinata blushed a bit and continued going on and on.

While Kageyama was setting up the TV and such, Hinata did the same thing at the dinner table. While he was tossing the ball up and down, he stole glances, and completely fell in love with Kageyama all over again.

Hinata stopped after the 60th time he did it, he spiked the ball lightly, and it rolled on the ground. The orange-haired boy opened the glass door once again and proceeded to sit on the living room sofa. Kageyama turned off the lights and went upstairs.

Kageyama joined Hinata after 5 minutes, apparently, he changed into normal and comfortable clothes. Hinata smiled at the younger boy, and he returned it.

"What are you smiling about?"

"Nothing,"

"You sure?"

"It's because I feel weak, I guess," It was true... ish.

"Hinata. Remember, as long as I'm here, you're invincible. Right?"

"Right?"

"I love you, Kageyama," he muttered.

"I- love you too, Hinata,"

Both boys were blushing, especially Hinata. Kageyama knew how to control his heat. But, then again, why was he blushing? Embarrassment, probably. He was awkward when it came to things like these. Oh no, did he make Kageyama uncomfortable? Hinata frowned.

"Hey, cheer up. I'm gonna cuddle with you, I swear,"

"Of course, it's our _friendship_ thing."

"Yeah," Kageyama smiled.

Kageyama's arms cuddled Hinata's body. This was comfortable, just the two of them, with the lights off, a movie on. Cuddles too, maybe forehead kisses. He loved this. But, they were just _friends._ _Nothing more. Nothing less._

The film started, it was nice. The plot was very cute and sad, both at the same time.

Time for some kisses and cuddles.

 _Platonic_ kisses and cuddles.


	2. Of Forehead Kisses and Deep Affection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~ p r e v i e w ~ :
> 
> ""You're glad... why?"
> 
> "That you show deep affection for me,"
> 
> The night was followed with several 'dumbass-based' insults, warm cuddles, and soft forehead kisses. Hinata wanted to stay like this, obviously.
> 
> But, the fact still hurt him.
> 
> They were just friends."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *starts new story*

Kageyama was already crying. The story was very melancholic and tear-jerking. Hinata found this amusing, his best friend crying over a film, even though he almost shows no emotion while they're playing volleyball, or when they're outside in general. The main characters were talking, after many hardships. The female lead was crying and the male one was smiling, a sad smile. The sad smile he pulled was the same one Hinata pulled. Every time he wants to show affection, Kageyama fails to notice it. 

"She-" he broke into sobs. "-finally met him, and- oi, Hinata, dumbass! Listen!" 

The orange-haired boy smiled, cuddling into the other boy's chest. Kageyama's face started to redden. Kageyama stopped whining and caressed Hinata's soft, carrot-top hair. He patted it once more and continued to pay attention to the film. Obviously, it had to have some kind of twist. The movie fucked with your head, in a good way, of course. It was all too confusing, but that's what made the film super cool and unique. 

His blue eyes made their way onto his best friend's golden brown ones.

The older boy's brown eyes... how come he had never noticed before? His eyes were a hickory as rich as the earth's soil; stained with the color of hot chocolate on a cold, winter night that wraps around you like a blanket; engulfs you in its warmth and makes you feel at home. Those deep pools of dark cinnamon swirls seized the depth and heaviness of one thousand untold stories, which imprisoned the sweetness of saccharine chocolate and the bitterness of strong coffee. They consisted of raw emotion and if you observe closely, they will reveal to you the exact thought that crosses the marvels of his ominous mind. It sounded... cheesy. Yeah. But, that was the _exact_ vibe his eyes were giving. They were all too focused on the film, and he wanted to tell Hinata not to focus a lot. 

"I thought you wanted to watch a Rom-Com? Why are you so invested on this film?" he laughed.

Hinata's cheeks are suddenly kissed pink like a spring rose, the blooming color so cute against his skin. He looks away and finds a distraction. Kageyama hangs back, allowing him time to compose himself, fighting back the smile that wants to break out. Obviously, he _has_ seen the brown-eyed boy blush before, but he never really _noticed_. The ravenette didn't even understand his _own_ thoughts.

"It seems interesting," his voice cracked. Kageyama frowned, but not in the sad way. He just frowned... because he could. 

The blue-eyed boy smirked. "Is it really? Or are you saying that because I chose this film?" he said slyly.

Hinata looked at him in annoyance. He subtly rolled his eyes and smiled softly. 

"Is both a proper answer?" he quirked a wider, happier smile. Kageyama's eyes glistened, he looked at Hinata - did something happen? Did something change? No, he just smiled. Um, what?

Kageyama gulped. "Uh, yeah," he managed to croak out.

The ginger looked at him in confusion and concern, he could tell. Kageyama knew that something happened there, his eyes - they were playing tricks on him. It was odd because Hinata was _always_ bright. Always shining. Somehow, though, he was... _brighter_ than usual. And it was bugging him a lot.

"Kageyama... are you okay?" the blushing ginger asked. The color started to fade and he looked at Kageyama with those large, brown eyes.

He tried to regain balance. "Um, yeah. Should we continue?" he questioned. Hinata nodded and happily looked at the TV again,  focusing once more at the film. The ravenette sighed, and stared at him. He was... stunning. He didn't know why he had these emotions. It was so sudden. A shock. Obviously, he knew that Hinata was beautiful, one-of-a-kind. But that was because he was a supportive friend. Don't get him wrong, he meant those things, but... he's thinking more and more about it lately. What was wrong with him?

"Hey, Hinata," he called out softly. Kageyama turned to the brown-eyed boy. Hinata moved his chin from the other boy's upper arm. The boy with the carrot-top hair hummed and looked at him.

He leaned forward and placed a soft, gentle kiss on his forehead. Hinata’s blush seared through his cheeks and for a minute he thought hIS face was on fire. He suddenly felt awkward, demure, and coy; even going as far as attempting to hide his rosy features behind his slim fingers. The orange haired man knew that a pair of eyes were watching him with awe. And that made him feel even more... gah!

"Do you know what forehead kisses mean?" the blue-eyed boy asked silently. Hinata stopped covering his face and wrapped his arms around Kageyama's waist. Since he was lying beside him, it was easier. Kageyama was about to explode, if it weren't for the darkness of this room, Tsukishima would've made fun of him because _the King was blushing_!

Hinata, his cheeks still tinted pink, murmured a faint 'huh?'.

Kageyama smiled warmly. "It either means that you two are friends-" - the orange haired boy frowned, on the inside, anyway - "- or the person shows deep affection for the other person," he continued to grin. If it was possible, the brown eyed youth's cheeks reddened even more.

Feeling a surge of confidence, Hinata asked.

_"Do you show deep affection for me, Tobio?"_

Oh, shit.

Whenever Hinata called the other boy _Tobio,_ it made Kageyama feel warm and loved. He didn't know _why_ , though.

"Obviously, dumbass," he muttered, leaving a smile on Hinata's face.

He nuzzled his face onto the taller boy's chest, "I'm glad,"

"You're glad... why?"

"That you show _deep affection_ for me,"

The night was followed with several 'dumbass-based' insults, warm cuddles, and soft forehead kisses. Hinata wanted to stay like this, obviously.

But, the fact still hurt him.

They were just _friends._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *dies*
> 
>  
> 
> also this is really h e c k i n g short, because im writing other stuff as well!!


	3. Unfair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PREVIEW:  
> "He had to suffer. Of course he had to suffer.
> 
> "H-Hey, Kageyama..." he said, pink still visible on his cheeks.
> 
> "Hm?"
> 
> "Do you wanna get ready for the thing? Tanaka-san might kill us if we're not ready yet..." he mumbled. Kageyama nodded, walked out of the living room and went upstairs, to his bedroom. Finally, Hinata was alone. He wanted to cry, he did. Even so, he couldn't.
> 
> Everything was unfair, so, so unfair."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i hate myself 
> 
> thischapter is so frickin short
> 
> s O r r Y

Hinata flickered his eyelashes, opening his eyes slowly and carefully. The sun seeped through the window, it was too bright, he couldn't see anything. He rubbed his eyes and his vision cleared up. Turning his head, he saw the TV, and it was still playing a film. It wasn't the same movie they watched last night. It was different. He turned his neck, screeching quietly. It hurt, a lot. He rubbed the nape of his neck, muttering curses. He looked down, and the sight he saw was something else. He's seen it before, obviously, but not in this position or in this manner.

Tobio was sleeping on top of him, and he was sleeping rather soundly and comfortably.

The awake male simpered. The view he's seeing right now was extremely rare. Kageyama Tobio - sleeping soundly and peacefully, it was basically impossible. He was wrong, apparently. Kageyama was smiling a bit, that made his heart skip a beat. It was a bit cheesy that it did, but he didn't care at all. That's what he felt. Heat and color spread on his cheeks and silent giggles came out of his mouth. Both of their hair were messed up, especially Shouyou's. He definitely remembered last night. It was one of the best nights he has ever experienced in his life so far. _So far._

The only thing that wouldn't leave his mind, though was the fact that Kageyama, - an emotionless person - said that he showed deep affection for the ginger. His cheeks heat up and the color intensifies more. He shook his head, dismissing the thought. He moved his right hand, now on Kageyama's black hair. Hinata caressed his hair for a while, it was soft, surprisingly. His eyes drifted to the other boy's eyelashes. They were long, gorgeous. With his other hand, he stroked the younger boy's cheek.

"Kageyama-kun," he mumbled. A slow, quiet growl escaped from Kageyama's lips. Hinata chuckled at that, this guy was pretty hard to wake up in the morning. Huffing, the boy with the carrot-top hair ceased stroking the ravenette's cheek, instead, he pinched it.

Another groan.

"Ow, dumb-ass. Let me _sleep."_

Rolling his eyes, he pinched even harder. This time, the snarl was a bit more harsh and a lot more louder.

" _Fine._ I'll wake up."

"Of course you will, it's -" he stopped talking, and looked at the time displayed by the clock. "-six o'clock in the morning." he continued smoothly.

Kageyama barked at the sentence. "But it's a _rest day_ , idiot. Didn't you look at the announcements?" he sighed, annoyed. Hinata pouted.

"We're meeting going with Tanaka-san and the others to visit Sugawara-san and Daichi-san at eight, remember?"

The black-haired boy _screeched._

"Shit, you're right!" he rolled in panic, and fell on the wooden floor. "Ow!" he arched his back, the pain stinging in his rear.

Hinata covered his mouth. How can this man be so _dumb_ but so _adorable?_

"That's what you get for being a lazy shit," he snickered playfully.

The younger boy hissed and glared playfully at him, stood up, and directly went to the bathroom. The ginger chuckled again, also standing up. He turned off the TV, and started cleaning up. Lots of candy wrappers were on the floor, popcorn that they dropped, food that they didn't finish. Last night was pretty wild, to be perfectly honest. Hinata was amused by Kageyama, though. He picked up the wrappers, the popcorn, and the unfinished food. He threw them in a nearby trash can and walked to the kitchen sink, washing his hands.

He wiped them and knocked on the bathroom door.

"Yama-yama-san! I need to _pee!_ " he shouted, banging the door loudly. A muffled groan.

Kageyama didn't respond for a while, but once he did, it was rather amusing.

"I'm shitting, you dumbass!" he shouted back. Hinata blinked and burst out laughing. It wasn't funny, but he laughed anyway. "Should've told me!" he shook his head, still giggling and sat on the couch again. He blinked, looking at the window. He hummed a tune, bobbing his head slowly. Sunlight trickled through the window, it made him feel warm. Today was a good day, which was miraculous, considering it was usually melancholic and sad.

Hinata's thoughts drifted, he was now laying on the coach, closing his eyes and snored softly. He wasn't asleep, no, he was just tired, that's all.

"Oi, you need to pee?" he heard a voice. Kageyama.

He hummed. "No..."

"You sure?" he whispered, sitting in front of Hinata's legs. The boy with the carrot-top hair just nodded slowly. Kageyama's eyes made their way to Shouyou. He looked so peaceful. Poetic, maybe? He looked calm. His eyelashes were curlier than usual. Good day, huh?

Hinata shifted a bit, giving Kageyama space. The raven-haired boy went closer, he was now sitting in front of Hinata's torso. He asked once again.

"You sure?"

The ginger groaned, and responded with a barely audible 'yes'. Looking at Hinata, Kageyama got a lot of urges. It was odd. Weird. Was it his hormones acting up? He _was_ a teenager after all. He couldn't stand it, though. He leaned in, and gave the orange-haired boy a peck on the cheek. It was quick. Alert, the brown-eyed boy opened his eyes quickly.

"I-I-I- what was that?" he stuttered. The boy with dark blue eyes smiled. "It was just a peck, jeez."

"O-Of course, yep." he whispered, now covering his face. Hinata's cheeks lit up with a bright pink color, he couldn't believe that _the guy_ did that. He knew what cheek kisses meant, as well.

A kiss for someone you know and love.

Yeah, he knew Kageyama loved him. But, even so, he was paranoid and anxious about the thought of Kageyama liking - hell, loving - him back. He wants their feelings to be mutual, yes, but the thought of messing up if they were in a relationship made him shake with fear. Of course, the possibility of Kageyama returning his feelings was least likely to happen, notwithstanding, he was just _afraid._

And he hated being afraid of _anything. Anything at all._

What if Hinata wasn't good enough? What if Kageyama dumped him? It would leave him with a broken heart. The broken heart is like a bleeding wound for which there is no medicine, no bandage, no cure.

_No cure._

He had to suffer. Of course he had to suffer.

"H-Hey, Kageyama..." he said, pink still visible on his cheeks.

"Hm?"

"Do you wanna get ready for the thing? Tanaka-san might kill us if we're not ready yet..." he mumbled. Kageyama nodded, walked out of the living room and went upstairs, to his bedroom. Finally, Hinata was alone. He wanted to cry, he did. Even so, _he couldn't._

Everything was unfair, so, so unfair. 


End file.
